The Blame Game: The Employer-Employee Tug of War in Nigeria’s Toxic Work Space

I still remember the day I quit my first job as a human resources officer at a reputable company in Abuja. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and I had just finished a meeting with my boss, who had berated me for not meeting his unrealistic expectations.

He accused me of being lazy, incompetent, and disrespectful. He said I was lucky to have a job in this economy and that I should be grateful for his guidance and mentorship. He threatened to fire me if I did not improve my performance by the end of the month.

I felt humiliated, angry, and frustrated. I had worked hard for this company for over two years, putting up with long hours, low pay, and constant harassment from my boss and some of my colleagues.

I had endured insults, intimidation, and manipulation. I had sacrificed my health, happiness, and personal life for this job. And yet, I was never appreciated, recognized, or rewarded. I was always blamed for everything that went wrong, even when it was not my fault.

I decided that enough was enough. I packed up my belongings, walked up to my boss’s office, and handed him my resignation letter.

He looked shocked and furious. He asked me where I was going, what I was going to do, and how I could be so ungrateful and disloyal.

He said I was making a big mistake and that I would never find a better job than this one. He said he would make sure that no one would hire me again.

I ignored his ranting and walked out of the room. I felt a surge of relief and freedom. I also felt sad and disappointed. I had hoped that this job would be a stepping stone to a fulfilling career in human resources.

I had hoped that this company would be a place where I could learn, grow, and contribute. But instead, it turned out to be a toxic workplace that drained me of my energy, confidence, and dignity.

As I drove home that day, I wondered how many other people were going through the same experience as me.

How many other employees were suffering in silence in toxic workplaces? How many other employers were creating and maintaining toxic work environments? How many other HR professionals were failing to address and prevent toxicity in their organizations?

I realized that toxic workplaces were not uncommon in Nigeria.

In fact, they were quite prevalent and pervasive across different sectors and industries. According to a survey by Jobberman, 35% of Nigerian employees reported experiencing workplace harassment or bullying in 2020.

Another survey by CareerJunction revealed that 69% of Nigerian workers considered quitting their jobs due to stress caused by their work environment.

Many workplaces in Nigeria are plagued by toxicity, where employers and employees have a strained and unhealthy relationship. They often blame each other for the problems in the work environment but rarely take responsibility for their own actions and attitudes. They create a cycle of negativity, distrust, and resentment that affects their productivity, performance, and well-being.

But why are toxic workplaces so widespread in Nigeria? And who is really responsible for them? Is it the employer or the employee? Or both?

I did some research and found out that one of the major causes was our socialization and lack of character development and soft skills.

We grow up in a society that values obedience, respect, and hierarchy over creativity, innovation, and collaboration.

We are taught to fear authority figures and to avoid confrontation at all costs.We are also conditioned to believe that success is measured by material wealth and status rather than by personal growth and contribution.

These beliefs shape our behavior in the workplace, where we encounter two types of people: the employer and the employee.

The employer

As employers, we tend to take a paternalistic or maternalistic approach to managing our employees.

We treat them like children who need constant guidance and supervision. We see ourselves as superior, benevolent, and responsible for our employees’ welfare.

We expect our employees to be loyal, obedient, and grateful. We do not tolerate dissent, criticism, or mistakes. We micromanage, control, and dominate our employees.

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We do not trust them to make decisions or solve problems on their own.

We do not give them enough freedom or flexibility to express themselves or explore their potential. We do not appreciate or reward their efforts or achievements.

We do not communicate or collaborate with them effectively. We do not respect their dignity or rights as human beings.

The employee

As employees, we tend to be intimidated by any authority figure who has power over us.

We do not assert ourselves or stand up for our rights.

We do not voice our concerns or grievances openly or constructively.

We do not give feedback or suggestions for improvement.

We do not take initiative or responsibility for our work.

We do not show interest or enthusiasm for our tasks or goals.

We do not cooperate with or support our colleagues or managers. 

We may also feel resentful, frustrated, and powerless in our work situation and may resort to passive-aggressive behavior, such as gossiping, sabotaging, or complaining, to cope with our dissatisfaction. 

This results in a lack of motivation, initiative, and creativity in our work performance.

This creates a power imbalance that breeds toxicity in the work space. The employer feels entitled to mistreat their employees, while the employee feels helpless to resist or change their situation.

The employer resents their employees for being ungrateful, while the employee resents their employer for being oppressive.

The employer distrusts their employees for being dishonest, while the employee distrusts their employer for being exploitative.

We all know that working in a toxic work environment is bad for our health, happiness, and productivity. But sometimes we forget how to break free from this vicious cycle of negativity and frustration.

So here are some friendly reminders for both employers and employees on how to create a positive work space where everyone can thrive.

For employers: 

• Don’t treat your employees like children who need constant supervision and discipline. Treat them like adults who have valuable skills, talents, and opinions that can contribute to your organization’s success.
• Don’t be stingy, mean, or unfair with your employees. Pay them well, give them benefits, and reward them for their hard work.
• Don’t be secretive, vague, or rude with your employees. Share your vision, goals, expectations, and feedback with them. Listen to their worries and ideas.
• Don’t be controlling, micromanaging, or limiting with your employees. Give them autonomy, flexibility, responsibility, and opportunities for growth. Encourage them to be creative, innovative, and collaborative.
• Don’t be negative, distrustful, or unsupportive toward your employees. Create a positive work culture that fosters trust, respect, and support among all members of the organization.

For employees: 

• Don’t treat your employer like an enemy who is out to get you or exploit you. Treat them like a human being who has goals, challenges, and emotions that affect their decisions and actions.
• Don’t be disrespectful, dishonest, or unprofessional with your employer. Show your loyalty, gratitude, and obedience by doing your best at work.
• Don’t be silent, passive, or defensive with your employer. Express your needs, expectations, and feedback to them. Listen to their guidance and direction.
• Don’t be lazy, complacent, or uncreative with your employer. Seek opportunities for learning, development, and advancement. Be proactive, motivated, and creative in your work performance.
• Don’t be isolated, competitive, or hostile toward your employer. Create a positive work environment that fosters cooperation, harmony, and friendship among all colleagues.

A nugget for today: a toxic work space is not a fate that we have to accept. It is a consequence of our choices and actions. By changing our attitude and behavior towards each other in the workplace, we can create a positive work environment where both employers and employees can flourish.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article and learned something new about the challenges and opportunities of working in Nigeria.

You’ve read the article. You’ve seen the facts. You’ve felt the pain.

Now it’s time to take action.

Don’t let your work space become a war zone. Don’t let your employer or employee drag you down. Don’t let your career suffer because of toxic relationships.

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Until next time,

Jennie